Shaky's Q&A
by shakespeare's entourage
Summary: my Q&A i've decided to make after reading the timid interviews. WARNING: this is rated M for mature as it will contain much blood, death and innuendo.
1. intro

_hope everythings shaky out there_

_I've been inspired by the timid interviews to create my own Q&A fanfic my first act will be to defeat shadow shinobi in a deathmatch to win timid vulpine's heart!_

also i will be refering to myself as Shaky

* * *

In a dimly lit warehouse in the middle of the desert. A male wolf with blondish-brown fur and grey eyes and a female vixen( as described in the timid interviews) discuss the location and future fanfics.

Shaky: this is the best you could get me

Timid: come on you're the author you could do anything with it

Shaky: true

_a sofa appears then changes colour and design till it reaches a modern crimson red state. Next more chairs appear of the same design soon the warehouse perimeter is secured with automated anti-Slippy weapons and is filled with games and a bed with a curtain around it._

Timid:wow you do have a good sense of style, but what's the bed for?

Shaky:guests( _one of the anti-Slippy weapons goes off followed by the sound of splashing blood) _and i see the Slippy defence system works

Timid:_she whispers _Good! Good!

Shaky: so now we've set up i think I'll start the Q&A next week_ pauses _will you be joining me.

Timid: maybe

Shaky: all right then

_a vortex appears which Timid and Shaky step through._

* * *

it is not guaranteed that timid vulpine will be on the show but i hope to get her on board

Shaky out!


	2. first edition

_hola, hope everythings shaky!_

_yes i realise now that i should have said who i was interviewing_

(sob)  
[whisper]  
{shout}  
_thought_

* * *

_Slippy lies strapped to a wooden table with rollers at either end, shaky stands over him with a dark look in his eyes. Slippy wakes up._

Slippy: where am I? _Shaky stays silent a look of evil glee forming on his face as he slowly turns a handle which turns both rollers _what are you doing?_ He continues turning the handle even faster, slowly it pulls on his hands and legs _NOOOOOOOOOOO! _Slippy gets pulled in half his blood splattering everywhere. The shadows consume Slippy and the rack_

Shaky: that was fun! I might make a habit of that _he sits down on the sofa and calls upon his awesome author powers to bring forth Krystal, Fox, Katt, Falco and (by accident) Amanda Bynes_ oops still working on the author powers _helps Amanda up and opens a shadow door which she exits through_

Krystal: aww come on me and fox were almost to oral sex

Shaky: you can use the bed afterwards

Krystal&Fox: awesome!

Shaky: ENTER, STARFOXLUVER! _A shadow door opens revealing Starfoxluver_

_SFL:_cool warehouse, to Fox: what do u think of all the yaoi stories about you?

Fox: they annoy me i mean i saw this one where i had sex with wolf!

Shaky: really?

SFL: 'kay to Krystal and Katt: do you hate both Yuri and Yoai?

Krystal: the Yuri ones actually turn me on a bit

Katt: me too!

SFL: well I'm off

Falco: wait aren't you gonna ask me a question?

Shaky: your just here for Katt's pleasure _he uses his author powers to transform Falco into a very long dildo then hands it to Katt who shrinks away to the bed and closes the curtain, behind which moaning can be heard_

_Krystal:_how does he change back we were gonna have a foursome tonight

_Shaky:_ah he'll change back in an hour, anyway onto my next guest [who couldn't be the co-host because she's too busy with shadow shinobi] {someday you will be mine} _starts crying _(why doesn't she love me?)

_Krystal:_ah come on Shaky you're a great guy

_Shaky:_you really think so? _Shaky composes himself then uses author powers to bring forth Timid who is locked in a kiss with shadow as she falls through the shadow door. He then uses his author powers to lock Shadow shinobi in a author&ninja/shinobi proof box. _You can have him back at the end

Timid: okay anyway can I stroke your tail it's so fluffy

Shaky: fine but ask your questions while you stroke

Timid: K to Fox: do you think you're ready to be a dad? Ooh the tail it's so soft...

Fox: I dunno

Krystal: I think you'd make a great dad

Fox: thanks Krystal _they kissed briefly but passionately_

_Timid: _two questions for Krystal 1)what is your weirdest sexual position?2)do you think you're ready to be a mother?

Krystal: probably the vertical lick and maybe but I'd have to give up casual sex

Fox: yes and I love doing the vertical lick

Timid: I think I know what the vertical lick is

_the shinobi proof box breaks open_

_Shaky:_aww man now I'll never get that 500 credit deposit back

_Shadow:_since that's it me and timid have to get back to some personal business _they kiss passionately and fall back through the shadow door which closes after them._

_Katt:_Krystal and fox can have the bed now

Krystal: this will probably take a while

_shaky:_condoms are in the top drawer _maybe i could get Jenna to go out with me_ I think I need to go to Costa Coffee

* * *

okay so first of all wolf and leon will appear as a yaoi couple in the next chapter so ask! ask! ask!

shakespeare's entourage out!


	3. second edition

Hello, hope everything's Shaky!

I was planning to release this last thursday but there were so many questions.

read and give me questions,

* * *

Slippy wakes up on a table with his hands held in by the fingers. From the shadows both Shaky and Shadow slowly step towards him their arms swinging slowly with their eyes glowing yellow from their silhouetted faces.

Slippy: Who are you guys?

_They continue to walk towards him_

Slippy:What are you gonna do to me?

Shaky: _tilts head_ You'll see

_The light catches an object in his hand and Shadow and Shaky, in synchronization, reveal mallets and nails, which they hammer them into Slippy fingers and hands_

Slippy: Ow! Stop that!

Shaky: Okay this isn't working

Shadow: Agreed

_Shaky pulls out a chainsaw_

Shaky: Want to do the honours?

Shadow: Do I ever?

_He takes the Chainsaw in hand and cuts Slippy's head off, throws it into the path of a Slippy defence weapon, blowing the head to smithereens. The body is then taken away by the shadows._

Shaky: Okay does that make up for not mentioning you in my comments?

Shadow: Maybe

Shaky: Good enough

_An unusually strong wind blows shadow into a conveniently placed shadow portal leading to his own show which all of the guests then walk through followed by the new guests, Wolf and Leon, who fall through kissing._ _Wolf and Leon stand to attention then reach through the portal for their shirts._

Wolf: Come on, me and Leon were just getting to the good part

Leon: Yeah

Shaky:shut your gay traps and sit down!

Wolf: Okay

Leon: Yeesh, maybe you should join us sometime to wind....

_Leon was several inches of the ground grasping his throat_

Narrator:Do you have to strangle guests?

Shaky:No but it is very fun

_He releases Leon who lands heavily then moves to the sofa_

Shaky:ENTER! Skatepunk172

_Rock starts playing through the portal and a shabbily dressed guy on a skateboard jumps through the portal then grinds to a stop. Then unexpectedly appears in a wall several feet away._

Shaky:No one gets a cool-ass entrance except me!

_Miraculously Skate has hardly a scratch on him._

Skate:Goddamit you broke my board

Narrator: No he didn't

_the board fixes itself_

Skate: It's a fair cop. To fox: what's the most gruesome thing you've done to someone violence wise?

Fox: I got so pissed off I ripped off someone's balls put them in his eye sockets took his eyes and shoved them up his ass till they came out his mouth

Skate:What did he do?

Fox: Called me a faggot

Skate:Cool!To Falco:You like being a dildo don't you?

Falco:Apart from being crushed into that shape yeah especially inside Katt's tight pussy

Fox: Yeah right she's probably all loosey goosey

_Fox crashes through the rafters and lands a mile away from the warehouse_

everyone except Katt: 10 points!

Skate: Krystal: can you tap multiple minds or just one at a time?

Krystal: OK I'm thinking of a number between 1 and 10

Everyone:7!

Krystal:Correct! Does that answer your question?

Skate: Yeah Katt: Yuri turns you, on are you bi?

Katt: one sec

_She kisses Krystal passionately resulting in the bulge of all males except Wolf and Leon who're too busy to even notice hint, hint._

Katt: Does that answer your question?

Shaky: yes but was that necessary? Not that I'm complaining

Katt: No but she's an awesome kisser

_Krystal whispers into Katt's ear_

Katt: sure but later

Skate: That's all I got so see you later

_He exits on his board and Timid Vulpine&Shadow Shinobi56 enter hand in hand till Shaky uses his author powers to lock Shadow in a shadow-proof box, and Timid eyes him angrily._

Shaky: what i didn't do anything?

Timid: yes you did, the Narrator said so

Shaky: well the Narrator is lying

_No I'm not and I'm not going to be subjected to such insults by some half-witted bipedal Vulpine. Shaky hits himself over the head with a baseball bat._

Shaky: Ow! what the hell did you do that for?

Timid: Yeah I'm the only one that gets to hit Shaky

Shaky: can we just get back to the Q&A

Timid: sure Shaky: work on your grammar it's sooooo annoying

_There's a mumble of agreement_

Timid: Wolf and Leon: no fair! I had the perfect girlfriends for you two!

Leon: Tough toenails Timid!

Wolf: Well you could still do it in your fanfics

Timid: Katt: How was the Falco brand dildo?

Shaky: yeah I always like customer reviews

Katt: fantastic! But I only had it for an hour! Can you make me another one that i can add to my Falco collectables and another for me to play with

Shaky: Sure!

_Two dildos appear in her hands_

Shaky: And those ones are permanent

Timid: Falco: what was it like being a dildo?

Falco: surprisingly enjoyable

Timid: Krystal&Fox: what is the longest you guys have been together?

Krystal: I think it was a year

Fox: and the anniversary of our meeting is in a week. oh! it was a glorious day when i found the glitch that let me get a panty shot

Krystal: yeah and when i first saw your cock was awesome, as well as the three hours after that

Timid: All: what is your favourite position?

Shaky: do you have to ask that every time, I mean you're the most perverted person I have ever met

Timid: fine I'll skip to my last point I WILL NEVER BE YOURS! I AM MY OWN AND MY HEART BELONGS TO SHADOW!

_She slaps him round the face_

Shadow: and now it's time for me to break out of this cage

_Shadow pulls out a zanpakoutou as tall as he is_

Shaky: do you have to destroy the box? I'm gonna let you out in two secs

_Shadow slashes through the box_

Shadow: no but it's more fun

_Shadow kicks Shaky in the balls_

Shadow: and that is for locking me in a box two weeks in a row, anyway on to the questions; Krystal&Fox: Vertical lick? Never heard of it

Krystal: Imagine vertical push-ups

Fox: It's like exercise and sex all at the same time

Shadow: Good for you Katt: Falco or a Falco dildo, which is better?

Katt: I think Falco really because then it can be more creative, like this one time we had an S&M session I made him cum so many times that night

Shadow: Falco: what's it like being a dildo?

Shaky(groaning): Someone already asked that

_He flops back behind the sofa_

Shadow: He might need a testicle transplant after that one, Wolf&Leon: When did you two go gay on each other?

Wolf: Well since panther was off loads with Miyu after forbidden Lynx we started talking and talking turned to love and then into sex

Leon: Yeah I especially love the sex part

Shadow: Okaaayy Wolf: Leon?! Seriously?! I mean can you do better than that surely?

Wolf: Well he's got a cock the size of New York!

Shadow: whatever I don't even want to know, Shaky:....ooohh hey! Narrator! can you fix this?

_Sure! Shaky finally stopped rolling around on the floor and was luckily left with no permanent damage to his testicles._

Shadow: Shaky: You seem to copying from both me and Timid yet only mention her in the comments, Why?

Shaky: Because you did not inspire me, however I did read truth, dare or strip like yesterday and get where your coming from but also one last thing

_Shaky puts a rasengan in Shadow's face_

Shaky: That is for kicking me in the nuts!

_Shadow was completely unhurt_

Shadow: you're going to regret that after I ask this question everyone: if Shaky and I were in a Q&A war who would be winning?

All: Shadow

_Shaky appears in a deep crater in the wall, blood dribbling out his mouth. Another kick sends Shaky rolling a mile a away till he reappeared back through the shadow portal._

Shadow: Anyway I'm off.

Timid: Actually can we use the bed

Shaky(dazed): Sure

Shadow: Great! ENTER! Velk!

_A German guy with poor English skills walks in_

_Velk_: Hallo two questions: nommer eins. Shaky: Why do yo hate shadow so much? Nommer zwei. (pervy voice) Krystal: vere did teh loincloth go?

Shaky: To be honest I don't, I just hate that Timid loves him not me

_Loud moaning is heard from the bed_

Krystal: I only wear the loincloth for Fox

_Krystal kicks Velk back through the portal and Death comes through the portal running straight for Shaky, who grabs the sword that he has, throws Death into a wall and throws the sword into his head._

Shaky: For god's sake! now I have to clean the wall. Narrator!

_Fine, the wall cleans itself. Starfoxluver steps through the portal tripping on the way in_

Star: God dammit! Falco: Are you okay with being turned into sex toys?

Falco: As long as Katt is the only person using it I'm fine with it

Star: All: Is Slippy dead?

Shaky: No, I have cloned him a hundred times so I can experience the immense pleasure and satisfaction of killing him again and again

Star: Krystal and Fox: Did you have good sex?

Fox: hell yeah everything we wanted was in the bottom draw

_Whipping and moaning can be heard from the bed, hey I think I can see over the curtain, sweet this is better than porn....aaaaaaaaaaaagggggghhhhhhhhh!!!_

Shaky: aww man he fell through the window

_the narrator suddenly reversed the fall_

Shaky: much better

_Ow! My head canes like a mother fucker!_

_Star:_ shaky: three questions 1. Why do Wolf and Leon have to be gay? 2. Where's panther? And 3. Why must Yuri turn Katt and Krystal on?

Shaky: 1. because they are I mean listen to some of the stuff Wolf says 's with Miyu 3. because it does. since that's over I think Wolf, Leon, Katt and Krystal have something to say to you

_They're all beating their fists as they approach but before they get a chance Starfoxluver runs through the portal_

Wolf: YOU BETTER RUN!

_KrzyKrn K steps through the portal_

K3: Okay 5 questions for Shaky

Shaky: ask away

K3: What made you fall for Timid?

Shaky: Her wonderful personality mostly but I don't know I just love her

K3: You surely knew she was going out with Shadow?

Shaky: In honesty no because I have known her longer than he has

K3: To what extent would you go for Timid's love?

Shaky: I would do whatever was necessary to win her over but of course eliminating the competition is just stupid it's not like just because I'm the only person means she'll love me

K3: How does it feel knowing that Timid is in love with shadow?

Shaky: a bit frustrating but as long as Timid's happy, then I'm happy

K3: anyway I'm off

_He concentrates then uses shunpo to leave, ParanoidSocialClub enters through the portal._

PSC: Wolf: Really?

Wolf: Yes and if you want proof

_Wolf gives Leon a quick lick swallowing the cum_

PSC: Well, at least you mom must be proud

Wolf: Actually she won't even talk to me, she's a devout Christian that believes that gays are evil

PSC: tough break

_PSC transforms into a dildo which Shaky hands to Leon and Wolf_

Shaky: for you you can use the bed after Shadow and Timid are done with it

Shadow: man, that was awesome

Timid: Who knew he had all that stuff to play with

_Leon and Wolf run and jump onto the bed knocking Shadow and Timid into a suggestive position. Uwe Bell enters through the portal._

_Shaky_: ah, my final guest is here would you care to wrap this up

Uwe: sure, Shadow: why do you hate shaky so much?

Shadow: because he locked me in a cage two weeks in a row

Uwe: All: What underwear are you wearing, colour and brand?

Shaky: none, I've gone commando!

Shadow: Calvin Klein, black briefs

Timid: Red, I don't wear brands

Fox: Not telling

Krystal: Well, I was wearing this black lacy bra but I seem to have misplaced it somewhere

Falco: Same as shadow

Katt: Commando

Uwe: and one last thing

_Uwe throws 29 kunai at Shaky but he grabs the first two and uses them to deflect the rest he then pins her to the wall_

Uwe: Wait! I have cheese?

Shaky: What kind of cheese?

Uwe: Um... I think it was called emmental

Shaky: Gimme! Gimme! Gimme!

_He scoffed the cheese then went to sleep under the table_

Timid: aww, look how cute he is.

_Everyone left through the portal leaving the vulpine fast asleep_

next week panther and miyu will be on, also people really need to stop taking me too seriously

Shakespeare's entourage out!

* * *


	4. third edition

Hope everything's shaky!

first i will say that do not take anythink you read seriously. Second I will actually release a fanfic about Shadow and Hakkyou's epic battle. third i really do need suggestions on how to kill slippy so please think of gruesome way of killing him

* * *

Shaky: _Sigh_ I need ways of killing Slippy clones _thinks( for once)_ I know! I'll ask THE GENERAL PUBLIC!!!

_Imaginary audience gasps as he checks the reviews for any ways on how to kill Slippy, And finds..._

_C_omputer: Zero ideas

Shaky: Well that well runs dry, anyway back to killing this weeks Slippy clone. This week I have created a poison not unlike the gas in SAW II

Uneducated simpleton: What's it do?

Shaky: Well I'll show you

_Shaky stabs the simpleton in the neck with a needle and he soon after begins convulsing violently and spewing blood then dies after spewing up most of his internal organs._

Shaky: I'm presuming that would answer his question if he were still alive but he has wasted my only vial of poison that is currently in my possession none the less I shall move onto my requested laser segment

_Who requested it, might I ask?_

Shaky: Don't ask needless questions

_Slippy lies strapped to a metal table_

Shaky: good morning Slippy Toad!

Slippy: Do expect me to talk?

Shaky: No Mr. Toad! I expect you to die!

_The laser behind Shaky starts moving up the table_

Shadow: WAIT!

_Shadow runs up to Slippy_

_Shadow_: Fear me and my whimsy! WHIMSY!!!

_Slaps Slippy round the face with a cheese grater_

Shadow: now you can kill him

_Shadow exits and Shaky starts the laser up again_

Shaky: and now you shall die as my laser goes through your balls and up through your head

_Hang on folks this is gonna take a minute or so so just go read a book for a bit...._

5 minutes later

_Slippy makes his final agonising cry as the laser shuts down and his body is consumed by the darkness._

Shaky: you know what I love about killing people in a Fanfic

_No_

Shaky: there's no messy clean-up and the cops never swarm the place

_Sirens blare as the cops swarm the place_

Shaky: you like pissing me off don't you?

_Yep! the first SWAT team enters and suddenly turn to salami then reconstitute as the SWAT team again. Shaky uses his Author powers to defy the narrator and kill the SWAT team and remaining cops once and for all. God dammit! Oh and no that was not literally salami, it is merely saying that they were sliced like salami._

Shaky: Anyway on to the Q&A

_The current guests on the Show, Panther and Miyu all step through the portal_

Shaky: What? aren't you going to complain that I was interrupting something?

Miyu: No

Panther: well I was almost there, just a few more seconds and I would have came all over... never mind

Shaky: What?

Miyu: Yeah it wasn't about to go all over me

Panther: Well I don't want to say

Leon: Well I know

Wolf: And it would have tasted so fantastic

Shaky: I don't want to know any more

Miyu: I still don't get it

_Krystal whispered into her ear and a look of confusion then disgust came on her face. LOL! Puns!_

Shaky: And if you didn't get the joke read again and think about it. Enter Starfoxluver!

_Starfoxluver steps through the portal wearing a thick Parka and covered in snow_

_Star:_ I will have my revenge MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Shaky: So what I sent you to Antarctica for the week big whoop.

_Star collapses and dies from hypothermia. Then lives again and returns to his house and continues writing fanfics. ParanoidSocialClub enters through the portal._

_PSC:_ I WAS A DILDO?! WTF?!

Shaky: I was bored so nyah

_Shaky sticks out his tongue and pulls down his eyelid_

PSC: Go fuck yourself! Panther: What's it like living with guys who...erm

Shadow: Do the do! but not mountain dew!

PSC: Yeah!

Panther: Annoying, they always try to come on to me!

Leon: And most of the time we do

Wolf: Yeah he joins us sometimes

Panther: No you've tied me up and made me suck your cocks!

Leon: Only during our S&M sessions

Shaky: that's enough I don't want to hear any more about your threesomes!

PSC: Miyu: Would you slap me if I said I wanted to...( five minutes of random snippets between censor bleeps)... with a pair of handcuffs

_The entire male party have boners the size of the empire estate building_

Miyu: Only if you wanted me to

PSC: Then maybe we should do that sometime. Falco: what's it like being turned into a Dildo?

Falco: Like you don't know, ass dildo!

PSC: right that's it!

_PSC dissapears and Falco begins convulsing violently then flies into orbit and back._

Shaky: PSC has done all he can it's all down to the judges now

Judge 1: well I hate your guts but I have to admit that was a fantastic kick. 7 points

Judge 2: that was absolutely awesome just like my high off the LSD I took in the bathroom. 10 points

Judge 3: fuck it! That was an amazing kick but I think you could do better. 8 points

Shaky: That was a disappointing score from the Judges and it places him behind Katt on the leader board with 25 points

PSC: to Fox: who would win in a drinking contest, You, Falco, Shaky, Shadow or me?

Fox: ME!

Falco: yeah right you get drunk after one sip of vodka

PSC: I'm out of here before...

_He turns into a dildo which Shaky hands to Wolf and Leon_

PSC: Not again

Shaky: Enter Uwe Bell!

_Uwe crashes through the rafters and lands in a crouch. Everyone else is staring in awe... her bust is massive!_

Uwe: YOU CREEP GET LOST!! Fox: can I stroke your tail?

Fox: Sure

Uwe: It's so warm and soft

_Indeed it was and everyone got a perfect look at her cleavage. She sprang into action and jumped through the narrators window then threw him out the window with 5 metric tonnes of pressure. However he was saved at the last second by Shaky. Shadow steps out of the shadows._

Shadow: All right, I have questions I Shall ask in a non-specific order All: do you hate Shaky for what he's done?

All except Leon: no

Leon: I don't hate shaky I just dislike him for strangling me I still wish he were gay so me and him could have some fun

_Shaky is vomiting profusely into a conveniently placed bucket, lol!_

Shadow: Wolf and Leon: you suck, I'm awesome! SUPERNOVA RASENGAN!!!!!!!

_A ball of chakra floats in each of Shadow's hand, it is orange in the middle and the rest is sky blue. He plunges them into Wolf and Leon's stomachs sending them flying through space and landing on the outskirts of Corneria. They then fall through the shadows in the warehouse with nothing to show for their flight apart from a bloodied nose._

Shadow: Uwe: I don't hate him we're just friendly rivals and now is your time to go

_Shadow kicks Uwe 50 feet into the air then jumps up and kicks her 3 miles away._

Shadow: Aren't you going to say that she sustained little injury?

_No, she scares the crap out of me!_

Shadow: Pussy! Miyu: if you called upon to face of great evil what would you say was your greatest strength in a situation like that?

_Uwe crashes through the rafters landing on top of Shadow and they engage in an epic fight then Uwe bell and Velk fuse to become Velk bell and they kick Shadows ass_

Miyu: I think my brains and my modified blaster that can fire a constant beam that will go through anything

Shadow: I'm off, keep impressing me!

_Shadow limps into the shadows and KryzKrn K jumps through the portal and fires back through it. A scream can be heard from the other side._

_KKK_: Good timing! Krystal: can I stroke your tail then brush it then cuddle it and use it as a pillow?

Krystal: Sure!

KKK: Fox can I brush your tail then stroke it and cut it off?

Fox: Definite no there

KKK: Too bad!

_KKK chases Fox then pins him down and cuts his tail off_

Fox: You psychopath!! You cut my tail off!!

Shaky: I mean come on that was a bit harsh to cut his tail off

_The tail escapes KKK then reattaches itself to Fox's rear end_

KKK: Falco: can I pluck all your feathers?

Shaky: No!

_Shaky throws KKK at a wall then throws a katana into his gut, cake falls out of his jacket_

Shaky: mmmmmmmmmm, cake

_Hakkyou000 enters through the portal_

Shaky: Ask away my English chum

Hakk: Okay mate, mate. Matey mate with mate a side dish of mate. Wolf: could you seriously not do any better than Leon? I mean you could've made fox turn at least?

Wolf: As I have said he does have a cock the Size of New York and I'm not talking about the city either

Hakk: Shaky: Oh, right, you DON'T make fun of gays.

_Hakkyou000 pulls out his epic sword Masamune_

_Hakk:_ let's see if you survive OCTOSLASH!

_Shadow jumps out at the last second and blocks his sword_

Shadow: this is my rival I shall have the pleasure of killing him one day!

_Shadow and hakkyou engage in an epic fight that Shaky will write a fanfic about_

Shaky: I really will

_Skatepunk enters through the portal_

Skate: Shaky: do you think I should change my name?

Shaky: No I like your name

Skate: Fox: what would you do if I....TOOK YOUR ARWING MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Fox: Nothing, Slippy made some "upgrades" but I'm not sure if it's safe

Skate: Damn! Falco: have you ever had part of your beak broken off?

Falco: No but Katt accidentally shot off part of it

Skate: ooh! How did it feel?

Falco: was sore for a few days but it was all right after a while.

Skate: does telepathy make it easier to ask someone out?

Krystal: I've never thought of using it like that

Skate: Katt: how many people have you slept with?

Katt: Just Falco

Krystal: You can't lie to a telepath

Katt: Fine! 195

Fox: You little whore!

Skate: Panther& Miyu: what do you like most about each other?

Panther: probably her wonderful smile

Miyu: probably his cock!

Skate: who likes Yoai?

Miyu, Krystal, Katt, Wolf and Leon: ME!

Skate: Who likes Yuri?

All except Wolf and Leon: ME!

Skate: Who likes Shaky?

_The crickets are the only sound_

Skate: who likes Shadow?

All: ME!

Skate: who likes timid?

All except Wolf: ME!

Skate: Who likes me?

_The crickets_

Skate: well screw you then!

_Skate leaves. Suddenly the warehouse creaks._

_S_haky: IT'S COLLAPSING! EVERYBODY OUT!

* * *

I will now be writing this fortnightly and have a new location. also theya will be on next so ask, ask, ask!

Shakespeare's entourage out!


	5. Notice

**notice**

Due to a recent attack by Lady Shady, Shaky is dead.

Until the narrator regains his powers and revives Shaky, Shaky's Q&A is postponed.

Yours regretfully,

Shakespeare's entourage


	6. fourth edition

_Hey soz I forgot for 6 months to write my Fanfics but I couldn't be bothered_

_anyway a few comments on this episode:_

_1. I'm not gay I just thought it'd sound funny_

_2. sorry if it's not funny i was tired when i wrote it_

_3. if your questions were not answered i will answer them next time_

* * *

A cloaked figure tramples across a distant and snowy mountain, he is in search of the answer to a great problem. The figure is the narrator. He begins to have a flashback.

_**Old Man: Atop this mountain you shall find the temple of arnarstro where men who seek power obtain it in it's purest form. The power of mind!**_

_This old man better not be wrong or I will run down this mountain and hurt him so bad he'll wish he was dead._

_A few days ago an attack had stripped the narrator of his powers and killed Shaky. He was now on a quest to find a new building, regain his narrator powers and revive Shaky_

_A buildings silhouette could be made out in the blizzard, he stumbled toward it in hopes of finding his salvation. There it stood more magnificent than he could have imagined. The Temple of arnarstro!_

_He trained there remastering the arts of narration, the effect of dramatic pauses and such. His training lasted several hours the temple enriching him with powers once more. He then slaughtered the monks and took the temple for his own and revived Shaky._

Shaky:Nice, not like the warehouse but I definitely feel stronger here.

_I knew you'd like it. The guests from the previous shows come through a shadow portal and gape in awe at the new set._

All:Wow

Shaky:I know, he found it!

_Shaky uses his AAP to decorate it similar to the warehouse but with a lot more stuff including a door that leads to nowhere you'll find out what that's for later._

Shaky:First guest: it's Hakkyou000!

_He drops in from the ceiling and dashes for Shaky with his sword in hand. Shaky counters deftly and leaves Hakkyou winded on the floor._

Shaky:I have grown stronger my friend have you? The spirit world has allowed me to train in ways I never thought possible. Did you honestly believe that I would die and not try to prevent it happening again?

Hakky:Actually, yes

Shaky:Ah well, ask your questions and be gone!

Hakky:To Shaky: do you actually love Timid or are you just jealous of Shadow?

Shaky:neither, I am jealous of Timid she has shadow to hold, oh how I mourn for shadows touch.

_The entire room stares blankly at Shaky._

Hakky:okaay...to wolf: Drug Fox! Drug Fox and claim him as your own!

Wolf:already tried it, his sexuality is too straight.

Hakky:Damn! To Starfox Team: can't let you brew that Starbucks!

SFT:LOL

Hakky:To Falco: hands off my bread.

_He pulls out his sword and holds it to Falco's throat._

Falco:(in tears) I'm sorry but it looked so tasty!

Hakky:I knew it, I kill you!

_He tries to stab him but Shaky breaks his arm_

_Shaky:_you can't kill my guest you bastard. Only I can do that!

_Shaky punches Falco's lights out then throws him into the ceiling._

Shaky:and now it's time for you to leave.

_Shaky picks Hakkyou up and throws him through the shadow door into the hall of never ending stairs._

Shaky:gotta love doing that

_the shadows pool together behind him then a figure rises out of it._ _Shaky turns round_

Shadow:Boo!

_Shaky jumps back and falls through the shadow door and down three flights of the never ending stairs._

Shaky: never do that again! Or I will kill you!

Shadow:Yeah yeah whatever! To Panther and Miyu: S&M, Handcuffs or some insane position no one has ever heard of?

Miyu:well the position sounds fun to try and the handcuffs are boring but S&M is so much fun I think I'll go for that one

Panther:Yeah, you want to do that now?

Miyu:Hell, yes!

Shaky:Ok you go down that corridor over there first left, second right that is my sex corridor.

Shadow:you have a sex corridor now?

Shaky:yeah get one in your lair too.

Shadow:Maybe. To Wolf: it's creepy but do the scales ever cut you?

Wolf:sometimes but it just makes everything more intense, wanna do it now?

_Wolf drags off Leon as Panther and Miyu return._

Miyu:oh my god you have everything in there.

Shaky:the drawers act on your desires. it has manuals that makes up positions in it depending on your physique.

_Falco has moved over to the fridge and has grabbed out a pepperoni stick_

Shadow:Don't eat that Fox and Krystal "used" it!

Krystal:and it was goooood!

Fox:definitely trying that again

_Falco stands there looking totally disgusted, as Leon and Wolf return sipping coffee and Wolf Smoking a cigarette._

Shaky:I didn't know you smoked and I'm the author of this fanfic.

Wolf:Meh! There's a lot of things you don't know about me.

Shadow:Anyway Announcer guy: are you in any way related to the announcer guy in "Q&A Madness"?

_No I'm part of Shaky but unless his soul dies which is near impossible, I live on._

Shadow:that's all I got so keep impressing me!

_and that conludes the 4th episode of Shaky's Q&A this show was filmed in front of a live studio audience_

* * *

anyone who was paying attention would have noticed the temples name was an anagram of narrators

also any questions that you do post that involve me being gay will be ignored.

keep it shaky!


	7. fifth edition

_gah! I'm so tired and my throat hurts. just my luck I get an ulcer the first week off of school and it's right at the back where I can't put bonjela on it._

_anyway, i'm probably not very funny again this week but hey what can a comic do on a tired brain? _

* * *

Shaky is fast asleep on the couch in his room. The narrator leans in and presses a horn to his ear, you know the cans. 3...2...1 BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP! Shaky wakes up and clutches his hands to his ears

Shaky: god damn it! My ears!

_Rise and Shine fucker!_

Shaky: I'd kill you if it wasn't a form of suicide

_Whatever, we've got a show to do._

Shaky: I'm starting to regret creating you

_I know_

* * *

_Shaky walks in. he reaches the middle of the room and is about to open a portal when NINJAS! drop in from the ceiling. They try to attack but Shaky opens a portal next to each of the NINJAS! and a sword comes out and stabs them. I hope shadow can get his money back._

Shaky: nah. NINJAS! don't do refunds.

_Why are we shouting NINJAS! every time we say it._

Shaky: yeah let's stop that

_Shaky kneels on the floor and uses his Shadow powers to materialize all of the guests in their seats._

Shaky: afternoon, all

All: hey

Shaky: and for our first guest: Timid

_Timid and shadow walk through the shadow door. The ninjas failed._

Shadow: damn! I thought for sure they'd kill him

Timid: come on! He's not that weak

Shaky: Get on with the questions already

Timid: oh! Right. To Shaky: last one was kinda short, wasn't it?

Shaky: meh, I was tired and couldn't be bothered to write much.

Timid: whatever. To Falco: that pepperoni was all slimy didn't you notice, arse-face?

_There's more swearing this time round isn't there_

Shaky: mm-hmm

Falco: yeah...well...erm....I CAN'T TAKE ALL THIS PRESSURE!!!

_Falco sinks to the floor and goes into the foetal position. Damn! I Lost THE GAME! Falco mumbles something in a high pitched voice._

Shaky: Damn! I lost THE GAME!

Timid: To Leon: I've heard kissing a smoker is gross! What's your opinion?

Leon: you get used to the taste and I smoke every now and again so it's not bad

Timid: To Narrator: how's the training going?

_Finished it and killed my master already!_

Shaky: yeah! How do you think I got this swanky temple?

Timid: Shaky: How did you die?

Shaky: I am not at liberty to say under threat of imminent attack by the T.V.

Timid: low growlGood, otherwise somebody might have had to do something nasty to you that they might not want to do

Shaky: Don't hurt me! Please! I'm begging you!

Timid: I won't, not yet anyways. cheery voice OK that's me done!

_Shaky regains his composure._

Shaky: and now it's time for...The amazing...Foxfighter220!

_Foxfighter enters through a door to the north to one person saying yay with very low enthusiasm he then jumps to the middle of the room and punches shaky in the face. Ooh! That's gonna leave a mark!_

Shaky:monotone ow, that was painful

FF220: that's for not calling me Joe!

Shaky: well here you go Joe! Have a bit of my sorry KNUCKLE SANDVICH!!!!

_Shaky punches Joe through the shadow door and into the hall of razors. Awesome TF2 reference!_

Shaky: I know, I went back and changed it. Hey what's this?

_Shaky picks up a red staff on the floor where Joe stood. It looks like a morphing stick that turns into anything except a red morphing stick factory_

Shaky: sweet I can use it to make a Blue morphing stick factory. I prefer Blue. onto Hakkyou000

_Hakkyou walks in a door to the south backwards blasting a shotgun. a zombie jumps at him but Hakkyou shoots it's head off just in time then closes the door._

H000: damn zombie flu pandemic, I knew I shouldn't have taken that vacation in raccoon city. To Shaky: You broke my arm! What the Fuck?!

Shaky: yeah and?

H000: I'll kill you!

_H000 starts to run forward but Shadow Roundhouses him in the face so hard it went back in time and was the bullet that made Kennedy's head explode._

_Shadow:_ low growl He's mine!

H000: whatever just don't tase me Bro'!

Shaky: what with this Tom A Swift's Electric Rifle. I won't

_Shaky pulls the trigger_

Shaky: oops my finger slipped.

H000:Twitching any...way to Wo...lf: eww you w...ant Leon...inside you?_Twitches_

Wolf: every day

H000: to Shadow: Sex...Corridor, awesome!

Shadow: seriously go look in the drawer you'll like it.

H000: I will To Fox & Krystal: aren't you like 30 it's kinda gross the way you guys act if you think about it, I mean you're constantly aroused, I mean like horny as a bull.

Krystal: all the girls in sex and the city are over 30.

H000: fair point. to Timid: I think Shadow likes you

_Shadow appears behind her and starts kissing her, and they start walking to the sex corridor and reach it without parting._

_H000:Shoots Shaky in the face_ take that biznatch! _Shaky is absolutely fine._

_Shaky grabs Hakky by his neck, lifting him of the floor. Shaky then roundhouses him into a wall, Chuck Norris style!_

Shaky: OK after that one I'm so bored I'm gonna sleep through the rest of my show

_Ok now we have Venomdark._

_Shaky_:ZZZZZZZ

_Venom drops from the ceiling and tries to piledrive Shaky, but he rolls back then pushes off and two-foots Venom in the face. He gets a massive gushing nosebleed which blasts him off._

_V_enom: I'm blasting off again _He flies off into the distance and tumbles through a shadow door. _To Fox: AK-47 or M-16?

Fox: they are both feeble weapons compared to my blaster!

Venom: oh yeah! _He pulls out both of the weapons and blows Fox to pieces _Now who's feeble BIATCH!

Fox: me?

Venom: that's what I thought _pulls out G3 and points it at Katt_ to Katt: do you like milk?

Katt: no...I love milk! If I could do the nasty with it Falco would be out of a job!

Venom: To everyone: Candy tastes good!

Shaky:sleep talkingyou got some?

Venom: Nah! I ates it all

Shaky: WHAT!_Still sleep talking. He jumps off the coach and proceeds to kill venom very slowly and very painfully. Shadow and Timid return from doing the nasty(Timid: Shaky how dare you insinuate i was involved with any illegal activity. Shaky: fine!) kissing in the sex corridor._

_Shadow_: To Panther and Miyu: everything? _Checks sex corridor draw _Well apparently I have a knack for vampirism and some whip play. Kinky, ain't it?

Timid: I can't wait for that

Shadow: can't wait to test the bed springs

Shaky: you guys live an ocean away from each other, I wouldn't hold your breath _My god! He's still sleep talking and he's still killing Venom!?_

Shadow: we'll meet someday! To Fay and Bill: go do the do you'll love it!#

Fay and bill: Don't need to tell us twice! _They rush to use the rooms and oohs can be heard from inside._

_Shaky_: _Still not awake_ well that's all folks!

* * *

Yes TASER is an acronym for Tom A Swift's Electric Rifle, look it up on wikipedia!

Y'all come back now ya hear!


	8. sixth edition

Shaky:*YAAWWNN!* what ungodly hour is this?

_'Round about two. Yeah! I own these plains!_

Shaky: What?

_World of Warcraft, I hacked your account_

Shaky: oh, okay...wait what?

_Shh, go back to sleep_

Shaky: yeah, I like sleep

* * *

Shaky: damned pig bastard! you wrecked my account and deleted my best character!

_I said I was sorry_

Shaky: and I'm supposed to forgive you just like that!

_Yes, actually_

Shaky: well, since you put it that way, NO!

_A Shadow portal opens and the cast walks in as well as a krakken named Darkfrost with a top hat and a monocle._

Shaky: _(At Darkfrost) _Back! Back to the valley you spawned! _He throws a multitude of slippers at him in many different colours and patterns, Darkfrost turns and runs screaming through the shadow door. _He'll not be bothering here again for a while!

_A door on the west wall gets blown off it's hinges, and black smoke billows out the frame. The Iron Man film theme by Black Sabbath plays on 11. Hakkyou walks through the door in step to the music holding a rocket launcher. He raises it and fires at Shaky, it hits him square in the chest and he is sent into the back wall. Hakkyou throws the launcher to the floor._

Hakkyou: so, who wants to make another "don't tase me bro'" reference?

_For another entrance like that I'll make all the references I can._

Shaky: whatever just get to questionin' foo'!

Hakkyou: To Fox&Krystal: that really doesn't justify your behaviour I mean you're almost having sex in front of your friends, don't you feel even a little embarrassed?

Krystal: not really, 'cause everything else disappears when I kiss him

Fox: maybe cause you close your eyes, silly

Krystal: aww. maybe, baby _they kiss and everyone else pukes _where'd all this puke come from?

Hakkyou: wow. Moving on, to wolf: eww... but he's all scaly and probably into S&M... and... and...eww!

Wolf: his snake feels like a snake and I'm into S&M so he's gonna be the best thing you're ever going to experience

Hakkyou: don't you mean "I've ever experienced"

Wolf: no _both Wolf and Leon stand up and walk slowly over to Hakkyou _this is gonna be fun!

_Hakkyou screams as Wolf and Leon drag him to the sex corridor._

Hakkyou: NO! PLEASE SAVE ME! NOOOOOOOO!

_The door closes and his screams are muffled by a gag or something(double-entendre hee!)._

_Shaky_: I like me some good double entendres.

_Suddenly a rip in space forms on the southern wall that's sideways and is also a portal to "heuco mundo" and shadow steps through covered in hollow blood._

Shadow: Evenin' all _he shunpos across the room and slashes shaky in the process (murmur) _moon fang slices heaven _A pink(lol) light bursts from his zanpakutou and sends Shaky into the far wall_

_Leon, Wolf and Hakkyou( but by the time I wrote this he changed it to "1950sTV-family") return, Hakkyou looks shakier than a one-legged man at a butt-kicking competition. He grabs Shadow by the collar_

Hakkyou: the horror man! You don't know what it's like!

Shadow: _Slaps Hakkyou _Get a hold of yourself

Hakkyou: thanks, man

Shadow: no, thank you. To wolf and leon: um...er...what was I gonna ask again...rrr...ding! Whose Uke(Bottom) and whose Seme(Top)? And for that matter who pitches and who catches?

Leon: depends what position but I'm the pin

Wolf: and I'm the cushion

Shadow: (_cringes_) I still can't get over that image. Hakkyou watch this. To Fox: I heard Krystal say I was super delicious

Fox: what?!

Shadow: to Falco: I heard Katt say the same thing

_Katt blushes and turns a shade of purple, Falco looks angrily at Shadow_

_Shadow_: To Bill and Panther: as well as Fay and Miyu, and they wanted to ride me hard.

Bill: let's kill him

Fox: but that might

Bill: grow some balls!

_They menacingly begin towards Shadow_. _Timid steps through the door looking for her Shadow-kun_

Timid: my envy sense is tingling. Someone other than me loves Shadow, They must Die!

_Timid pulls out a katana and slashes them all to death._

Shadow: and that is why she's the woman I love, and fear occasionally

Shaky: stick around for a bit if that's all I have something to do at the end.

Shadow: cool! _Timid sits on his lap and burrows into his chest._

Hakkyou: _recovered from his scarring temporarily _back to my Q's To Falco: your make-up looks great today; do you do it yourself?

Falco: yes!

Hakkyou: woah! dude I was mocking you! You're not supposed to say yes

Falco: but now you look stupid and I look gay and only one of those is socially acceptable!

Hakkyou: damn! Outsmarted by a bird! To Shaky: sorry for the retarded attack lark, but what is with you and Timid?

Shaky: I'm friends with Timid in real life

Hakkyou: nice

Shaky: Stick around, I need someone to play bass

Hakkyou: Kay!

_The ground begins to shake violently and crack the cracks grow larger and larger till up burst Satan and God fighting then armageden floats above the battle and makes it disappear._

_Army: _who would win in a fight, me or shadow? I mean no attack can ki...

Shaky: Shadow

Army: but nothing can ki...

Shaky: Shadow can

Army: whatever! To Fox: can I be Starfox?

Fox: no!

Army: To Slippy: Auf viederseihn!

_Army pulls out sascha and spends over $400,000 ( watch „meet the heavy")_

_Army:_ man that felt good! Miyu: are you still a merc?

Miyu: how do you think I get all of my money?

Army: prostitution to Fox and Krystal: can you help help me gain control of halo? I'd really appreciate it

Fox: sure! But what the hell are you talking about?

Shaky: HALO: Combat Evolved

Army: yeah To all of starfox: can u help me dispose of The Flood?

Shaky: just try and stop me!

Army: To Shaky: try and hit me and I'll cut your balls off, slit your throat and shove your balls in the wound!

Shaky: I wasn't gonna but that sounds like a challenge!

Army: To announcer: Who's scarier, me or Timid? _Pulls out „FAT MAN"_ Keep this in Mind

_Timid, nothing is scarier than her_

_Army:_Hakkyou, here have this Chaos sub space bomb And To Krystal: don't try to read my mind, You'll regret it.

Krystal: actually I have read your mind, Timid's is worse

_Whatever cause now comes the cool part_

Shaky: yes, now it's time for my music section!

Me on lead guitar, Shadow on Drums, Timid on backup Guitar and Hakkyou on Bass

_And now „Lay Down" by Priestess_

_Instrumental_

Lay down, sleep my little darling  
I'll be nothing when you're gone  
Lay down just like in a coffin  
I'll have nothing but a song  
I leave you in a coffin for real

And just leave you in a church

Lay down,  
Leave you'll be lonely,  
I know I won't go  
Lay down  
Sleep you'll be lonely  
I know I won't go  
It's not my turn

Lay down, this pain will be long gone  
With the absence of your breath  
I know, I know that you loved me  
But I can't love you when you're dead  
So I'll leave you in that coffin for God

And I'll leave you in the dirt

Lay down  
Leave you'll be lonely  
I know I won't go

Lay down  
Sleep you'll be lonely  
I know I won't go

it's not my turn

Guitar solo

Lay down,

leave you'll be lonely,

I know I won't go.

Lay down,

sleep you'll be lonely,

I know I won't go

Lay down before me  
I know I won't go  
It's not my turn

_end_

Shaky: and now I'll be taking the drums Hakkyou going to keyboard and shadow going to violin as Timid sings regina spektor's fidelity

I never loved nobody fully  
Always one foot on the ground  
And by protecting my heart truly  
I got lost in the sounds  
I hear in my mind  
All these voices  
I hear in my mind all these words  
I hear in my mind all this music

And it breaks my hea-a-a-a-art  
And it breaks my hea-a-a-a-art  
And it breaks my hea-a-a-a-art  
It breaks my heart

_Timid Stares lovingly into Shadows as she sings the next verse_

And suppose I never ever met you  
Suppose we never fell in love  
Suppose I never ever let you kiss me so sweet and so soft  
Suppose I never ever saw you  
Suppose we never ever called  
Suppose I kept on singing love songs just to break my own fall

Just to break my fa-a-a-a-all  
Just to break my fa-a-a-a-all  
Break my fall  
Break my fall

_She breaks Shadow's gaze_

All my friends say that of course its gonna get better  
Gonna get better  
Better better better better  
Better better better

I never love nobody fully  
Always one foot on the ground  
And by protecting by heart truly  
I got lost In the sounds

I hear in my mind all these voices  
I hear in my mind all these words  
I hear in my mind all this music  
And it breaks my heart  
It breaks my heart

I hear in my mind all of these voices  
I hear in my mind all of these words  
I hear in my mind all of this music

Breaks my heart  
Breaks my heart

End

Shaky: Well that's the show, of course there was a review by telekinetic mind freak but he's an asshole so I'm not gonna do his Q's. any song suggestions will be taken into consideration and please answer the poll on my profile, also for those who are curious my world of warcraft characters are a human warrior on darkmoon faire called Broromir who's in loch modan and a tauren druid on Quel'thalas called sarag who's hangin' in the barrens


	9. End

**I have decided to write a new Q&A**

**read "shaky's Q&A v2 for the next episode**

**send your questions to there**

* * *

**apparently I had started writing a 8th chapter so I've decided to post up here what I did write**

* * *

Shaky: I don't wanna do my fanfiction.

_Well you have to do it it's good publicity._

Shaky: what do I care no one reads my fics.

_Not if you don't write them. Seriously, your already tiny fanbase is dwindling to nothing._

Shaky: but I can't think what to write.

_Who cares! Also maybe if you weren't so rude to all your guest they might like you._

_Timid bursts through the door with an evil look in her eyes and a katana in her hand_

Timid: Trust me, this is gonna hurt you a lot more than it will me!

Shaky and Narrator: wait, what are you doing? Wait, no! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Timid: and what do we have to say for ourselves?

Shaky and Narrator: (numb) thumimatheb

Timid: That's what I like to hear

Shaky: I hafe one quethion though

Timid: shoot

Shaky: why?

Timid: I was bored

_Shaky faints at her amazing ability to disregard the simple rule that you shouldn't really disembowel people especially not your friends._

* * *

to Shaky's Q&A v2


End file.
